[ Good thing she understands by now what Sam (and Julie) means by 'calling' so she doesn't have to bother trying to decipher the question. She only shakes her head. ]
Not here for Geralt.
[ She steps inside, looking around absently. The place feels so... empty. The door closes behind her. Ciri is silent for a long few moments, edging into uncomfortable, letting Sam move about her and talk as he wishes. She doesn't respond.
[ it sneaks out of him, how genuine the sound is. oh, ciri isn't here for geralt. oh, ciri has come by and geralt's not here and she's not. leaving. oh. sam could have let himself hesitate over that realization, if he gave himself the time, but instead he's already heading back inside and moving back to the food he'd been working on and he lets ciri wander inside.
this is as much her space as it is anyone else's. somewhere she's spent more time than she probably has ever wanted to. if ciri is quiet for any stretch of time, sam does end up filling it - casually, not importantly, but with a sort of polite host-y-ness that doesn't make any of this feel weird.
at least - up until she speaks, and sam stills in the kitchen.
alina. gone. sam feels a tension filter through him. a tension that forces him to swallow, before he can really speak, his eyes still on the counter. ]
Gone? [ and then, when he does finally look up and over to where ciri's standing, there is a kind of. guarded stillness in his expression. the last few months hit him a bit suddenly at that. his worry for her, the heartbreak when she left, how he'd searched and searched and search for mal. for peter. he'd convinced himself she'd made it to thorne. that it would all work out. god, is he really that stupid? ] You're sure?
[ Ciri has trouble meeting his eyes at first, but she pushes herself to, holding his gaze. She nods. ]
I wouldn't have come here otherwise.
I have it on good authority. Someone in Thorne.
She... disappeared. Like the others.
[ Ciri doesn't give him more details than that, mostly because she doesn't know anything else. No one has been able to pinpoint exactly how people just seem to vanish into thin air. But by now, they're all aware that it... it happens. Sometimes, it just happens.
Ciri might have a lot of mixed feelings about the specifics of what Yennefer is doing in Thorne, but she's certain of this: Yennefer isn't lying to her. To her best knowledge, Alina has vanished, and it's not like she simply ran away again. ]
I wanted to tell you. Face to face. I think-- it's what she would have preferred.
[ it's not that sam distrusts her. if anything, sam's convinced it's true for the simple fact that ciri is the one telling him. she wouldn't lie about this. he knows that. but even still, it takes that extra explanation before it really settles in his chest.
and then it does, and sam... his face doesn't fall, necessarily. his expression doesn't drop. but there does feel to be some kind of exhale. after a moment, sam just sort of nods. distantly. distractedly.
like the others. ]
No, that's- [ better than the alternative, he doesn't say. assuring, he doesn't say. sam presses his lips together and tries to figure out what he does want to say and instead finds himself exhaling. ] Thank you, for telling me. It- I appreciate it. A lot. [ sam glances over to ciri, tries for a small smile, and when it hits him that it doesn't even feel convincing he gives up, a hand raising to rub across his face. he's not crying, but the need to reset is there. the need to rub fingers into his brow.
how many more, he wonders? who's going to be next? ] Shit.
[ it is better to know. sam knows that, and he knows ciri does too. still, grief swells up in him. unbidden, uncontrolled. he hesitates where he stands in the kitchen for another few moments before letting out a breath and reaching for where he keeps the whiskey - tucked back behind the food, the drinks.
it's the same bottle that ciri might recognize from before, back when geralt had been barely stitched back together. it's nearly empty now, where before it'd been nearly full. sam pours himself a drink, glancing over to her - both in asking if she wants one, and just to check. ]
[ The same bottle of that same foul stuff strong enough to make her throat burn. She'll take it.
Ciri steps closer at the unspoken invitation, standing across the counter from him. She accepts the cup when he pours it. ]
I've made my peace with Alina's leaving. This changes nothing.
[ In a way, Ciri isn't wrong; her everyday won't change, and she hasn't even spoken to Alina in a long time now, having sealed herself off to mitigate the sting of the wound. She had expected nothing. Alina made her priorities clear, and honestly, Ciri couldn't even blame her for choosing a friend from her world over them. With time, the pain has faded. And she's encountered plenty of other things to worry about in the meantime.
But knowing Alina was safe in Thorne even if they weren't in regular contact and knowing that Alina has vanished completely, without having any idea what happens to the people who simply disappear-- well, it's not the same at all, is it? It's not the same feeling. It's not the same, intellectually.
And yet, for all that they can do to change it, it makes no difference at all. ]
[ sam catches his urge to correct her - that making peace is not the same thing as being okay. but he's not entirely sure if this is the place, or the time, or if ciri even wants to hear it. he assumes not, and just finds himself nodding and taking a drink.
and ciri's right - there isn't any huge difference. when alina left for thorne, sam had been terrified. worried. stressed. he'd wanted to go after her and he'd wanted to message her and he'd wanted to know. but much like ciri - with enough time he realized he just couldn't focus on only that. alina was an adult, alina had made her choice, and honestly - who was sam to think he was owed anything else?
the idea of the disappearances isn't easier to swallow, not with how little they know of what it means or where they even go, but it's something. and something is better than nothing. the loss of it curls somewhere in sam's chest, mixed with peter, bucky, mal - mal again. he exhales - shaking his head.
this sucks. it really sucks. and sam decides maybe he's just going to let it suck for today. maybe this is just going to be how he processes. ]
She'd have wanted to go with him- wherever it is. So it's good she made it to Thorne before. [ he doesn't quite want to say it, for some reason, so he takes another drink instead. ]
I had the same thought. [ Ciri confesses, grabbing her cup.
No one knows where any of the vanished go. It makes as much sense that they are pulled back to their times and places as anything else, and so that is what Ciri will choose to believe for now. Perhaps the magic that had summoned them lost its strength, somehow. Perhaps someone else had summoned them back. Who fucking knows.
Doesn't make it easier.
She drains her drink in a few stinging, burning gulps and slams the cup back down, eyes watering. ]
That's all I wanted to tell you. Appreciate the drink.
[ sam nods in agreement with ciri, appreciative that she doesn't make him say it. that he doesn't need to. they have no idea about a lot of this place, no concept of the actual lengths the singularity might go to. but sam - much like ciri - is making a decision to believe. making a decision that when they disappear, they do go home. he doesn't know what else there is to it, doesn't know what more there could be, but. it's better than any alternative.
ciri drains her drink, and sam glances over in her direction. waiting to see if she'll ask for another. waiting to see if she has anything more she wants to say. when she slams the cup down, sam doesn't flinch, just ends up watching. waiting. figuring out the shape and size of his own grief, tucked somewhere in all of it. ]
Ah- yeah. Thanks again for coming by. [ he should say something. should offer something. he knows ciri is hurting and knows that whatever this is is shared. but even then, he's not entirely sure what to say. ] You gonna be okay?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Not here for Geralt.
[ She steps inside, looking around absently. The place feels so... empty. The door closes behind her. Ciri is silent for a long few moments, edging into uncomfortable, letting Sam move about her and talk as he wishes. She doesn't respond.
Instead, she simply says it. Tired. Sad. ]
It's Alina.
She's gone.
no subject
[ it sneaks out of him, how genuine the sound is. oh, ciri isn't here for geralt. oh, ciri has come by and geralt's not here and she's not. leaving. oh. sam could have let himself hesitate over that realization, if he gave himself the time, but instead he's already heading back inside and moving back to the food he'd been working on and he lets ciri wander inside.
this is as much her space as it is anyone else's. somewhere she's spent more time than she probably has ever wanted to. if ciri is quiet for any stretch of time, sam does end up filling it - casually, not importantly, but with a sort of polite host-y-ness that doesn't make any of this feel weird.
at least - up until she speaks, and sam stills in the kitchen.
alina. gone. sam feels a tension filter through him. a tension that forces him to swallow, before he can really speak, his eyes still on the counter. ]
Gone? [ and then, when he does finally look up and over to where ciri's standing, there is a kind of. guarded stillness in his expression. the last few months hit him a bit suddenly at that. his worry for her, the heartbreak when she left, how he'd searched and searched and search for mal. for peter. he'd convinced himself she'd made it to thorne. that it would all work out. god, is he really that stupid? ] You're sure?
no subject
I wouldn't have come here otherwise.
I have it on good authority. Someone in Thorne.
She... disappeared. Like the others.
[ Ciri doesn't give him more details than that, mostly because she doesn't know anything else. No one has been able to pinpoint exactly how people just seem to vanish into thin air. But by now, they're all aware that it... it happens. Sometimes, it just happens.
Ciri might have a lot of mixed feelings about the specifics of what Yennefer is doing in Thorne, but she's certain of this: Yennefer isn't lying to her. To her best knowledge, Alina has vanished, and it's not like she simply ran away again. ]
I wanted to tell you. Face to face. I think-- it's what she would have preferred.
no subject
and then it does, and sam... his face doesn't fall, necessarily. his expression doesn't drop. but there does feel to be some kind of exhale. after a moment, sam just sort of nods. distantly. distractedly.
like the others. ]
No, that's- [ better than the alternative, he doesn't say. assuring, he doesn't say. sam presses his lips together and tries to figure out what he does want to say and instead finds himself exhaling. ] Thank you, for telling me. It- I appreciate it. A lot. [ sam glances over to ciri, tries for a small smile, and when it hits him that it doesn't even feel convincing he gives up, a hand raising to rub across his face. he's not crying, but the need to reset is there. the need to rub fingers into his brow.
how many more, he wonders? who's going to be next? ] Shit.
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[ Shit, indeed. Ciri sighs, shifting her weight uncomfortably. ]
Nothing we can do. But... at least you know.
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[ it is better to know. sam knows that, and he knows ciri does too. still, grief swells up in him. unbidden, uncontrolled. he hesitates where he stands in the kitchen for another few moments before letting out a breath and reaching for where he keeps the whiskey - tucked back behind the food, the drinks.
it's the same bottle that ciri might recognize from before, back when geralt had been barely stitched back together. it's nearly empty now, where before it'd been nearly full. sam pours himself a drink, glancing over to her - both in asking if she wants one, and just to check. ]
You okay?
no subject
Ciri steps closer at the unspoken invitation, standing across the counter from him. She accepts the cup when he pours it. ]
I've made my peace with Alina's leaving. This changes nothing.
[ In a way, Ciri isn't wrong; her everyday won't change, and she hasn't even spoken to Alina in a long time now, having sealed herself off to mitigate the sting of the wound. She had expected nothing. Alina made her priorities clear, and honestly, Ciri couldn't even blame her for choosing a friend from her world over them. With time, the pain has faded. And she's encountered plenty of other things to worry about in the meantime.
But knowing Alina was safe in Thorne even if they weren't in regular contact and knowing that Alina has vanished completely, without having any idea what happens to the people who simply disappear-- well, it's not the same at all, is it? It's not the same feeling. It's not the same, intellectually.
And yet, for all that they can do to change it, it makes no difference at all. ]
As far as I know, Mal's gone too. Again.
Perhaps they've gone together, wherever it is.
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and ciri's right - there isn't any huge difference. when alina left for thorne, sam had been terrified. worried. stressed. he'd wanted to go after her and he'd wanted to message her and he'd wanted to know. but much like ciri - with enough time he realized he just couldn't focus on only that. alina was an adult, alina had made her choice, and honestly - who was sam to think he was owed anything else?
the idea of the disappearances isn't easier to swallow, not with how little they know of what it means or where they even go, but it's something. and something is better than nothing. the loss of it curls somewhere in sam's chest, mixed with peter, bucky, mal - mal again. he exhales - shaking his head.
this sucks. it really sucks. and sam decides maybe he's just going to let it suck for today. maybe this is just going to be how he processes. ]
She'd have wanted to go with him- wherever it is. So it's good she made it to Thorne before. [ he doesn't quite want to say it, for some reason, so he takes another drink instead. ]
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No one knows where any of the vanished go. It makes as much sense that they are pulled back to their times and places as anything else, and so that is what Ciri will choose to believe for now. Perhaps the magic that had summoned them lost its strength, somehow. Perhaps someone else had summoned them back. Who fucking knows.
Doesn't make it easier.
She drains her drink in a few stinging, burning gulps and slams the cup back down, eyes watering. ]
That's all I wanted to tell you. Appreciate the drink.
no subject
ciri drains her drink, and sam glances over in her direction. waiting to see if she'll ask for another. waiting to see if she has anything more she wants to say. when she slams the cup down, sam doesn't flinch, just ends up watching. waiting. figuring out the shape and size of his own grief, tucked somewhere in all of it. ]
Ah- yeah. Thanks again for coming by. [ he should say something. should offer something. he knows ciri is hurting and knows that whatever this is is shared. but even then, he's not entirely sure what to say. ] You gonna be okay?
no subject
[ It's difficult to tell if that is a sort of you're welcome or an answer to his question. Ciri backs away with a shrug, turning for the door. ]
I'm always okay.
[ She doesn't give him the chance to argue, shutting the door tightly behind her as she leaves. ]