[ he can't quite put a word to his last session with the doctor - heartbreaking feels wrong, it's too dramatic, and besides, his heart's been broken a long time ago, and he never really trusted her to begin with, but it's as close as he can get, so heartbreaking it is.
it's not that he doesn't listen to sam, it's not that he doesn't understand that sam has good reasons - excellent reasons, even - to be upset with him. no one, not even the families of the winter soldier's victims, not the people who suffered most at his hands, is harsher on bucky than he is on himself. so sam's response, he can understand.
but that woman spent months in that room trying to get him to say something real, and then he did, and she said nothing.
and what more proof does he need? people want to help you, she told him you have to trust. but in the end, she just wanted him off her plate.
it's not that he doesn't want to try, but how's he supposed to try when he hears one thing, but experiences another? how's he supposed to try when he's still forced into things? everything is foreign around him, and it feels like he doesn't even speak the language. with steve gone, he's lost his interpreter, too.
bucky huffs at that comment, and refills his glass. he's got a mission, now, he's not about to die before its done. but if she wants to try once that's finished, she's welcome to. he drinks his water, and rinses his glass. ]
Solid.
[ he's not a picky eater, never was - and even if he ever had that inclination, the great depression followed by the army would've beat it out of him. he'll eat most anything; cold, expired, and dropped on the floor.
but if you give him a protein shake sam, he swears to god. ]
no subject
it's not that he doesn't listen to sam, it's not that he doesn't understand that sam has good reasons - excellent reasons, even - to be upset with him. no one, not even the families of the winter soldier's victims, not the people who suffered most at his hands, is harsher on bucky than he is on himself. so sam's response, he can understand.
but that woman spent months in that room trying to get him to say something real, and then he did, and she said nothing.
and what more proof does he need? people want to help you, she told him you have to trust. but in the end, she just wanted him off her plate.
it's not that he doesn't want to try, but how's he supposed to try when he hears one thing, but experiences another? how's he supposed to try when he's still forced into things? everything is foreign around him, and it feels like he doesn't even speak the language. with steve gone, he's lost his interpreter, too.
bucky huffs at that comment, and refills his glass. he's got a mission, now, he's not about to die before its done. but if she wants to try once that's finished, she's welcome to. he drinks his water, and rinses his glass. ]
Solid.
[ he's not a picky eater, never was - and even if he ever had that inclination, the great depression followed by the army would've beat it out of him. he'll eat most anything; cold, expired, and dropped on the floor.
but if you give him a protein shake sam, he swears to god. ]